“You Can’t Say You Can’t Play”: Building a Culture of Inclusion at Touchstone

At Touchstone, belonging isn’t just a value, it’s a daily practice. One of the ways we nurture that sense of belonging begins in the simplest of places: the playground. Inspired by educator and storyteller Vivian Gussin Paley’s classic work You Can’t Say You Can’t Play, our teachers help students learn to see play not as an exclusive club, but as a shared space for friendship, imagination, and empathy.

In her groundbreaking classroom research, Paley noticed the quiet but powerful ways exclusion shows up in children’s play and how deeply it can shape their understanding of fairness and community. By introducing a single rule, “You can’t say you can’t play,” she invited her students to explore what inclusion really means. Through stories, discussions, and reflection, they discovered that kindness and creativity thrive when everyone has a place in the game.

At Touchstone, we carry this idea beyond the playground. “You can’t say you can’t play” becomes a living expression of our mission. Whether students are building in the sandbox, collaborating on a story, or negotiating a soccer game, teachers help them notice moments of inclusion and exclusion and guide them in making choices that align with empathy and fairness.

We see this mindset in practice as students grow into collaborative play in early childhood, moving from parallel play to cooperative play. They practice identifying moments when they need space for solo play—always an option—and then how to fold others into their robust storylines or shared goals. Our older students reach out to peers for help, ideas, and social support with willingness and humility, having spent years setting aside the idea of a friend clique to embrace their full community.

These everyday practices connect directly to our work in social–emotional learning. When conflicts arise, we don’t rush to assign blame. Instead, we pause, listen, and engage students in reflecting on needs, perspectives, and possible solutions, thus helping them build the social thinking and compassion that make inclusion possible.

In this way, You Can’t Say You Can’t Play is not only a playground rule, it’s a mindset. It teaches our children (and reminds us all) that community is a verb, something we make together through care, creativity, and courage.

Written by Anne Lewenberg